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4 year old with severe ADHD symptoms

#1

I’m 37 (soon to be 38) full time working mom of 3 beautiful kids. My daughter is 18 and out of the house. She was just currently diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar disorder. She also cuts as a way to cope. My son is 4 and a half and will be 5 in October. He has pretty significant ADHD symptoms which disrupts the entire family. I’ve adjusted so much in his short life to help with his symptoms including foods, supplements and therapy along with his actual psychiatric pediatrician. I’m here on this site because I need help and advice and support. My youngest child is a 1yo boy. He’s walking and loves to explore and do things independently.
My 4yo cannot control himself. His hyperactivity is hurting him and others (me, the baby and other people he runs over). He’s so smart! He’s a beautiful lovey boy but he is hard to be around. It gets to the point where after asking or speaking to him several times tha I have to yell to get him to stop doing something and I have to ask on repeat for him to do one small task like get his shirt on. I have little patience left and I am struggling, so is my SO who is not my ADHD boy’s father. My son doesn’t grasp things even after days of repeating ourselves. For example no standing or jumping on the couch. He is told all day long to stop- every single day. I bought him a trampoline! He barely uses it! I bought him fidget toys and he breaks them because he’s so hyper he drops them or loses them. His therapist has been doing therapy for over 35 years and she specializes in this and she says my boy is the highest energy she’s ever experienced. She can understand my frustrations and is working to figure out what may help us and him. He will not grasp that some things he does are dangerous for himself and for others. He has zero self control with boundaries and is in everyone’s face. I need help please. Advice. Words of encouragement! Please!! I’ve tried diet changes. I’ve tried supplements and a med that made him have angry outbursts. I’ve tried quiet time (which doesn’t happen) and I’ve tried reward programs (multiple) charts, stickers, toys, ice creams etc. He’s already in therapy and working on getting him home therapy but waiting on MassHealth to get his disability insurance. I’ve tried and still do positive attention with everything he does right, includes hugs kisses and or a pat on the head, shoulder or back rub. I discipline him with relax breaks and time outs and an explanation of what he is doing wrong and why it’s wrong. Doesn’t sink in. It’s like nothing fazes this boy! I’ve read him books on ADHD that is age appropriate and also about his verbal outbursts which is all day long. He can’t stop talking. Literally. His case is severe and I feel lost. I feel so sad for him. We are constantly telling him to stop jumping, running, go slow, stop touching this and that. It must be so horrible to not be able to be yourself because of the way it disrupts the “normal” course of everyone’s day. Redirection is an all day affair and it’s old already. I know this is forever. I know I cannot make ADHD go away, but I’m looking for advice that worked for other boys and families. This is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. I’m grateful this is all he has and is otherwise healthy, don’t get me wrong. I know there are millions of beautiful children out in the world suffering from far worse disabilities. Thank you for listening to my story. Any advice is greatly appreciated!

#2

Hello, members of the ADD/ADHD community!

Maybe you’ve been there: you’ve tried everything that you can think of to help your child cope. Do you have any words of advice, or even reassurance for drae?

Do reach out and support this Mum and her kids!

Hoping all is well with you

Seenie from Moderator Support

PS if this is the first time that you are returning to our new platform, you may have to reconfirm your account. Sign in with the email address you signed up with, and then click on “Forgot my password”. The system will tell you the two simple steps to get back in to join the group.

#3

Your son sounds just like me when i was younger i am now 26 and i have to say from what i read you are doing a fantastic job. Really i mean it. It may not seem like any of what you are doing now is working / sinking in but it will, it will take a lot longer than “normal” but your son can get there. I’m sorry i dont have any advice except keep trekking along but i just wanted to let you know that you are doing great.

1 Like
#4

Thank you and your email means a lot. I’m so worried about is future. Near
and far. But I will not stop until I’ve exhausted all my resources and he
has what he needs.

1 Like
#5

@trust_level_0

Hello, members of the ADD/ADHD community!

Maybe you’ve been there: you’ve tried everything that you can think of to help your child cope. Do you have any words of advice, or even reassurance for drae?

Do reach out and support this Mum and her kids!

Hoping all is well with you

Seenie from Moderator Support

PS if this is the first time that you are returning to our new platform, you may have to reconfirm your account. Sign in with the email address you signed up with, and then click on “Forgot my password”. The system will tell you the two simple steps to get back in to join the group.