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Damned if i do, damned if i don't

#1

My boy came home yesterday. Hes been living with his dad for last 4-5weeks because he hates me. But he was at risk and as his parent i had to intervene. Now im suffering for it. Hes been off his medication the whole time . Hes more abusive and demanding than before. He is swearing at me and blaming me for everything little thing. Even things out of my control.
I myself suffer from a disorder called trich, which makes me pull out my own hair. Id been nearly pull free for 2 weeks which is a huge achievement for me, but in the 24hrs hes been back home, ive sunk straight back to where i was. I dont think im gonna cope this time. I really feel like im losing my mind.

#2

Meegan, start here:

For support in a crisis: call 13 11 14, online: https://www.lifeline.org.au

For your son (12-24 yrs) headspace.org.au/headspace-centres/

Call Child Safety and ask for their help and guidance. Don't wait.

Meegan, you need to find help learning how to parent your son or, if you feel you aren't in control, find out from Child Safety and your son's doctor how your son can get his needs met. I know it can be tough.

I hope you can work things out. Best wishes.

#3

I spoke with child safety this morning they are going to contact the local office for me to find out what support we have access to for him

#4

Good - you're already in action then. When raising my son got really difficult I had access to a parent group that met weekly and they had a good support system. I don't know what I would have done without them. I found out how many parents find themselves learning about the juvenile courts, for example, and feel alone until they find other parents who understand these challenges from experience. It's hard to do alone! If there is such a group available to you I'd encourage you to check it out. Maybe there's childcare available. Good luck.

#5

You definitely aren't alone in this. I had to call Child protective services on my 7 year old son's father a year ago. It was extremely messy, but it was what I needed to do for my son. He had a very rough 6-8 months following that when he didn't see his father as usual.

I can tell you that now that a year has passed things are much better. So don't give up hope. Over time kids learn who the stable forces are in their lives. They may not always treat us great, but I do believe that if we are there to support them, they know deep down that they have you to rely on. And more than anything, kids need to feel safe and loved.

Hang in there and take care.