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I am not okay!

I couldn’t find a place to reply to the latest article so am posting as a new topic.

Until now, I have had a pretty good life and I was very okay. But after losing my job of 28 years almost three weeks ago, I am not okay now. And I worry that I will never be okay.

I’ve always known I had ADHD but thought of it as a positive thing. I told myself: I am a now person, I never make people wait if they want something done, I get an inordinate amount of work done in a day, I am a great employee, my nickname is ‘Crazy xxx’, friends find me fun, I have fun”. However I didn’t see the downside: my impulsivity getting me into trouble, multi tasking leading to careless mistakes, annoying people around me with my boundless energy and to do lists, and the mountain of stress I put myself under in a day trying to get everything done because it had to be done now.

This article resonated with me because I am depressed, I am anxious, I am grieving the loss of a job I loved, I am missing the social aspect of my workplace, I am missing my purpose, I am worried about money, I am worried about ever enjoying life again. I am not okay.

When I got the official diagnosis of ADHD only a few months ago, as a result of issues in the workplace, I thought it amusing when my NP asked if I needed treatment. I didn’t think I did because I thought of all the positives. Now I am beating myself up over the negatives which have landed me where I am: losing a job I loved a year away from my earliest retirement date.

So where do I start at the age of 53? How does one change their complete personality at this age? How do I relax more, especially when under crisis?. How do I not focus and dwell and ruminate when that’s what I have done all my life, especially in times of crisis? Are there medications for ADHD? What do they do? Will I still be me if I take them? How do I enjoy the rest of my life?

That’s a lot going on @Quinn, and your concerns are very understandable. I would encourage you to speak with a counselor about some of your concerns, including helping you make a decision as to whether meds are appropriate for you. Please keep us in the loop as to what’s going on.

Sharon

Well, I did go to a counselor. Twice. But she basically said I was doing all the right things and to call her if I need to see her again. Regarding meds for ADHD, I don’t think it’s something I need. But I really don’t know a lot about it. My union is fighting my termination and I meet the lawyer Monday. I had to gather together old performance appraisals. They were very positive but there was a common theme. It’s amazing how I see patterns now that I never understood then. Multitasking. Getting huge amounts of work done but sometimes rushing and making careless mistakes. The lawyer wanted me to print off communication between my employer and I regarding my ADHD. But I never said anything. Why would I? But it was joked about. I would like to hear from others who have had serious issues in the workplace related to ADHD. Anyone out there?