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New here - waiting for our diagnosis

#1

Hi I'm new here......I'm new to the whole ADD/ADHD world as well, its scary and I'm feeling like I'm digging a hole trying to help, I wonder what I could have done differently to help her because now I look back on the last two years and I see all kinds of signs. I have a 10 year old daughter who we are working on a diagnosis for, she was seen by her doctor last week and we started the paperwork. I'm waiting for the teachers to return the evaluation forms so I can turn them into her doctor and hopefully get back on a path to a happy child again - the happy child I know she is.

Does anyone have any tips on what questions to ask the doctor? What meds to avoid? A better way to deal with everything at home until we have a game plan and even after we have a diagnosis and treatment plan for her? Most days I head to work frustrated because we rushed out of the house, I forgot my lunch trying to remember her things. I know making her responsible for her own stuff what needs to happen but if I do that I end up with the "mommy I left my homework book, violin, lunch (other random item) at home and I need it.....so I'm late to work so I can get her what item she left behind.

#2

Hi ConfusedMom05!

The morning rush is an awful way to start your day! Been there with all 3 of my kids! When my girls were about 10, I laminated a card with a checklist and attached it to their backpacks with one of those stretchy clips. They could use the list to check off each item required at the beginning and end of their school days. It wasn't 100% effective, but it gave them a tool to help with their organization and a way to start to be self reliant. I haven't started with my 6 year old yet, because he is still too emotionally immature to use it, and self-conscious about every little difference between him and others.

My son was diagnosed at 5 and we have been through medication hell trying to find something that works. It looks like he will end up on a cocktail of meds to help with his anxiety as well. It is good that you are addressing your concerns about your daughter now. It is a great time to get some help and smooth the way to middle school for her.

My kids all have had anxiety and self-esteem issues. I have to work hard to find all the good things they do (small as they are). Something that helped with me as a parent, as well as my kids was to put a jar with their name on it and put a raffle ticket, heart - something tangible in the jar for each small positive action. We never take these tokens out of the jar. As they amassed, it provided a visual record of how many good things there are about them. (It also helps me when I am having a bad day). It can be so hard to focus on the positives.

Another thing I did when my girls were younger was to trace out their body on a large piece of paper and let them decorate their paper selves. Then we added positive "I am" statements on the cutouts. Between the girls and I, we managed to find unique positive statements to fill the page. We posted them on the back of their bedroom doors, so the last thing they saw at night, and the first thing they saw in the morning was a list of positives about themselves. - and it was a good reminder for me as well.

I hope you have a doctor with whom you have a good rapport. It will help to have someone in your (and your daughter's) corner.

Good for you for following up when you had concerns! Let us know what results you have.

#3

I love these, 3Gkids.
My son accused me of “only caring about school” and not caring how he felt about anything. He’s 25 now and I’m glad when I remember to ask, “how do you feel about that?”. It took me awhile to improve, didn’t it :). And making an effort to rest and really listen to his responses, which are more mature now, of course.