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Life With ADD/ADHD - Online Support Group

Thinking my 5 yr old son has ADHD

So I’m about at my wits end with my 5 year old, he can be so sweet and so caring when he wants to be but majority of the time he is out of control. He never ever stops moving, he can’t even sit still for dinner, he’s this giant ball of jumping, running, screaming, climbing energy. He can’t even sit still long enough to eat dinner, he’ll say he has to potty even if he just went just to get up. Ok so I can deal with that, but the problem is his impulse to do things that he know he shouldn’t, he’s constantly getting into thing right after I tell him not to, no form of punishment works, it only makes things worse and turns into this big crazy fight where he’s telling me he’s gonna break stuff or trying to hit and kick me and screaming and crying, it’s outrageous! Trying to talk to him about his actions gets us no where, I ask him to look at me when I speak to him and 3 seconds later he’s looking off somewhere else, then if I do get him to look me directly in the eyes, I can say one sentence and he can’t even tell me what I just said! He’s a very smart boy, he’s an October baby so he doesn’t start school till next year but I don’t want it to cause him problems at school or for him to be labeled as a bad kid. I’ll also add that I was diagnosed ADD at 8 and my mom said she started noticing it with me when I was 4 and she said she had attention problems as a child back in the day, I know I had the poor impulse control, and I had over emotional reactions too. Anyway what do you guys think? Is this ADHD or do I just need some anxiety meds for me!? Or both!?!? Haha He has a dr appt April 30th to talk about all this, can he even be diagnosed before he goes to school?

Sounds a lot like my son, well in hindsight anyway. I was consistently telling myself that he was just an active little boy. He would learn to sit still. So I sent him to school (he is a December baby) and within the first month and a half I was having a conference with his teacher. I spent the next school year fighting for him… There were conferences, calls with the principal, calls with the assistant principal, meetings with counsellors and school social workers, restriction, lots of conversations about behavior and way to many tears (mine and his). I love my son and he is SO smart. I was devastated that no one else could see it. I was anti-medication and I was sticking to my guns. This whole time I have been reading and learning all I can. I have read books (listened to audio books actually) about everything from pro med (psychology instructional material) to anti med (ADHD does not exist, pills are not for preschoolers) to society blaming (Swager, bright not broken). There is so much material out there. I would highly recommend some of these books.
Fast forward to first grade. Now he has a new teacher with children of her own who are ADHD. She is so much more excepting and sees all the things I see in him. She wants so badly for him to succeed. And yet there are more meetings, referrals, conversations, and crying. The straw that broke this camels back was when my precious, smart first grader walked into the library with his class and stabbed a fifth grader in the back with a pencil (no provocation). We were on the edge of a very slippery slope and I was NOT about to let my son go over the edge. His lack of impulse control combined with his intelligence was infuriating. He would do these things in the heat of the moment and then be able to tell you rationally and articulately why he shouldn’t have done it. He knew he was doing something wrong but in that moment simply didn’t or could stop himself. So we went to the doctors and he was prescribed a low dose of Aderol XR which I choose to only give to him for school. He is manageable on the weekends and holidays so I choose to just use the meds to help him focus at school.
The diferance has been night and day. Everything has changed. No more trouble. His hand writing improved overnight, no more interrupting in class, no more interputing conversations. No more fidget on his pencil, no more wiggle seat or banned chairs, no more constant mouth noises. I spent a year and a half fighting the meds and at the end of the day they have introduced the world to the little boy I always knew was there and as a mom the little boy I could see. His teacher could not be more excited. She says he is a model student!
Everything you have mentioned screams ADHD. I would tell you that if you are unsure then take him to a psychologist instead of a pediatrician. Technically this is a psychological disorder and your pediatrian is not qualified to diagnose it (even though they do it everyday). Read up on everything. Fill yourself with knowledge. And if you are anti-Med this is even more important. When he starts school you will have a long battle on your hands. Learn your rights as a parent and his rights as a disabled child. Find out if your county has a child study. This is a full evaluation for your son that the school is required to provide at no cost if you request it. This was very helpful for me and eye opening. It also opens the door to all the other things the school can do for him (fidgets, wiggle seats, bans).
I wish you all the best of luck and I hope you are able to determine what is best for him.
A teacher, who is ADHD herself and on meds (gotta love adult prospective) recently mentioned to me that his handwriting is a physical example of what is happening in his head. With no meds his writing is all over the place. On meds his handwriting is clear, clean, crisp and ledgable. And others can now understand it… And understand him.

DEFINATELY sound like ADHD, my son did all the same things at that age. Maybe you could call and see if they have a sooner apt? it's not easy for them either, they don't know why they do what they do. I am glad you are taking him in though, once he gets treatment, things will get better, good luck to you. Please keep us posted

I agree...sounds almost exactly like my son at age 5, the age he was diagnosed.

We also started on Adderall XR and after about 3 days of adjustment, it was like a whole new child. No....not a new child because he was still the same funny quirky kid he always was. He was just calm and settled. It actually broke my heart that he had suffered the way he did for almost a year previous.

Our pediatrician is the one who diagnosed him and she is amazing to work with. You may need to struggle through the next few weeks until you see yours. I would suggest asking any teachers who interact with your son to write up a short letter on the behaviours they are seeing in school, and bring that to the appointment with you. That way you have observations from multiple people in multiple settings.

Good luck. Hang in there knowing that there is help for ADHD and you are so close to your son getting a better life.


I agree, I felt awful my son had gone so long without meds, it was like I had my child back.....
Nic MacJay said:

I agree...sounds almost exactly like my son at age 5, the age he was diagnosed.

We also started on Adderall XR and after about 3 days of adjustment, it was like a whole new child. No....not a new child because he was still the same funny quirky kid he always was. He was just calm and settled. It actually broke my heart that he had suffered the way he did for almost a year previous.

Our pediatrician is the one who diagnosed him and she is amazing to work with. You may need to struggle through the next few weeks until you see yours. I would suggest asking any teachers who interact with your son to write up a short letter on the behaviours they are seeing in school, and bring that to the appointment with you. That way you have observations from multiple people in multiple settings.

Good luck. Hang in there knowing that there is help for ADHD and you are so close to your son getting a better life.

I agree with the others that this does sound like ADD/ADHD. Since you have a few weeks until your appointment, I would encourage you to explore whether or not your son might have some food sensitivities that make his symptoms worse. We did not find the elimination diet the amazing cure some people tout it as being but it did give us some insights that help manage his symptoms along with his medication.

My son is highly sensitive to high fructose corn syrup and yellow dye. I.e. the banana Laffy Taffy his teacher insisted on tossing out in the classroom as a reward for correct answers quickly turned my gentle, caring son into Roger Rabbit on steroids... no amount of medication can counteract the effects these substances have on him. But going gluten free had absolutely NO effect whatsoever. We also had him allergy tested, and found that when his allergies (pollen) are at their worst, he displays OCD behavior that goes away when he takes an antihistamine. I also give him a fish oil supplement everyday with his meds. It helps him (and my non-ADHD children) feel calmer. It doesn't help him focus or with impulse control, but he is less agitated.

Hang in there! Remember, you know your child best! Go in with an open mind, but don't be afraid to say no or ask the doctor to try something else. Every child is different and reacts to medication differently.

Welcome to the journey!

Hi Ashley~You have your hands full, but seem like a very caring and involved mom. So glad he has a doc appt. and that you're on top of this. So many parents want to ignore it and the thing is that these kids are feeling so much anxiety inside & I think some of the inability to be still is caused from that. It sure sounds like ADHD and I don't see why he couldn't be diagnosed, but then, I don't know if the docs have guidelines about age. All I know is that when I was finally diagnosed at age 55, the medication was a lifesaver for me. Some parents take their kids off meds in the summer and I feel sorry for the kids because ADD is not something that just happens in school & they have to go back to feeling crappy all summer. Anyway, keep us updated and good luck!