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Life With ADD/ADHD - Online Support Group

Violent meltdown

Im really struggling lately. My 13yr old son has recently started on strattera and im noticing some positive changes however its not helping with the violence. He kicked holes in my walls again last night so i called the police and now today he just refused to go to school and ive been abused and screamed at constantly and called a “dog” etc. Ive been crying all morning. I feel like im about to have a major breakdown

Meegan, you need serious professional advice from your doctor and/or your son's psychologist and/or your own therapist. You need to have a plan for situations just like this, but you need help from someone who knows what is best for you and your family. You need a team.

Did the police talk to you and your son? Did they give you any further instructions, or did they explain any consequences to your son? Laws about families and how to get help are different in the US than in Australia. You need to feel confident that you're doing the right thing under these circumstances. Please call your son's doctor and describe your son's behavior, and report the police call you had to make. Tell your doctor you need teamwork and that your son is not controlling his own negative and abusive behavior. Get the phone number for family services in your area - your doctor may have this.

With his cooperation, engage your son as part of his team. Explain to your son that when you see his behavior begin to escalate (early stage) it would be beneficial for you to give him a neutral cue, such as "I notice (this expression or behavior) is occurring now". When he receives this neutral cue he can make a decision about that information. Will he choose to take a walk, do exercises, have a snack, go to a quiet area to rest, etc. Documenting time of day behavior occurs might be helpful, certainly for you and your son to review, but it's very good information for his doctor/health care provider.

Before a behavior escalates was a good time to cue my son, and I've seen it work with students. He began to realize his own signs of stress and appreciates the neutral cue. If he can learn to succeed at home he can behave positively in other environments, too. Home life is important.

Meegan, This website has a link to download a program brochure for more information, and there are links to other options. I'm concerned about you and your family, Many of us here know how hard it can be to parent during a tough time. I hope that soon your rough patch will have changed to a more agreeable situation for you and your son.

http://www.gladstone.qld.gov.au/en_US/counselling-and-family-support

Community Advisory Service
142 Goondoon Street
Gladstone
PO Box 29 DC
Gladstone 4680
Phone: (07) 4976 6300
Fax: (07) 4972 6557
Email: ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

My son left. He couldnt past me calling the police so Hes gone to live with his dad . Im really worried because i dont think its the right move. I dont think he’ll make him take his medication or make sure he goes to school. Child safety are going to keep an eye on things for me.

I'm sorry things have been difficult for your family, and I'm glad the child safety people will help out. I know you love your son and you've been patient with him. I wish you and your family the best in this new arrangement.